Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, ‘intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."
'i' know those guys, they fit the describition of many of my friends

> A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote Pasco
>pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.


The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
>sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you
>exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"



Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at
>his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"



>


The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
>connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet,
>where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then
>feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
>photo.



The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop
>and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .



Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
>image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database
>through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after
>a few minutes, receives a response.



Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
>miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly
>1,586 cows and calves."



"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"
>says Bud.



He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks
>on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
>what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"



The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
>why not?"



"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.



"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you
>guess that?"



"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here
>even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
>to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying
>to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how
>working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd
>of sheep...



Now give me back my dog.
YEW! they think they know it all, but their day of reckoning is {{ COMING! }}

My daughter sent 'me' this one - ain't she {{ cool? }}